The problem with sharing a private lesson is that you dissect your partnership. You examine all the little pieces and why things are and are not working. Then you attempt to put it all together again. Inevitably, however, you have identified things that need to be worked on. And until those things get fixed, you are painfully aware not only of your own places for improvement (as happens after having a private lesson all to yourself) but also of your partner’s progress.
And if you are like me, your brain just won’t. shut. off.
So you gleefully go off to a milonga, and of course it is an evening where a number of people are missing and the energy isn’t at its best and you can count on one hand the number of partners with whom you are actively seeking dances. But you make the best of it. You notice some things in your own dancing, but you can mostly let your mind drift. And you do have some great dances. But then … then your brain switches on again.
And you notice all those little things that aren’t working quite right. And you think about how much nicer this leader looked dancing with other people. And how much more awkward you yourself feel while dancing with this leader. I don’t know whether to get a lobotomy or grit my teeth and endure some difficult practicas. I suppose I will choose to practice, but I wish I could skip over the phase where I doubt our ability to dance together nicely ever again.