Houston Tanguera reminded me of something I wanted to talk about a while ago. She says:
I like the tangueros who show joy in dancing, and I steer clear of the snobbish ones, the catty, gossipy, morose ones, no matter how well they appear to dance.
Hear, hear! I dance tango because I love dancing it. I go to milongas because I have fun – fun while dancing, fun while socializing. I do not go to milongas to climb a social hierarchy, to network, to criticize, to release negative energy/feelings, to act superior, …
There are things that happen at milongas that I can’t stand. I can’t stand it when someone who never has wanted to talk to me comes up with a big smile, a greeting, time for chit-chat … and a flyer for his/her new class. I can’t stand it when a good leader turns me down just because I haven’t sucked up to him enough or because I am not selective enough about who I dance with. (I understand leaders who turn me down because they haven’t seen me dance, they don’t have time because of better prospective followers, etc. But I won’t take a private with a teacher for the privilege of dancing with him at a milonga, and I won’t play the snobbery game just to get a dance with a hot-shot.) I don’t play games with people.
If I dance with you, it’s because I like the way you lead, or I value your friendship and enjoy the dance because of that. I dance because I have fun doing it. If milongas ever become a matter of game-playing, I will probably stop going. It is the same as in a relationship of any kind – if it becomes unhealthy, competitive, or fake I will do my best to resolve the situation or leave it if nothing can be done.
I don’t play games with tango. I have fun, I don’t toy with people. If anyone thinks differently, I hope they approach me about it. I am introverted, I am shy, but I do my best to my friendly and honest and give respect to my fellow dancers.