Leader’s Choice

I have been mulling over what Alex said about judging followers by the leaders from whom they accept invitations. This is a tough one for me.

On one hand, I know just what he means. I have found myself making mental notes about other followers who consistently dance with leaders I can’t stand. Putting up with guys who fling you around, or who talk you through steps, or who wear fedoras and get melodramatic. (Alex, that last one was just for you!) I wonder about the follower for accepting these dances repeatedly.

But I know what it’s like to have a leader you don’t know invite you to dance. I’ve accepted dances without having watched the leader beforehand, found myself in the middle of a tanda that isn’t agreeable. I have danced with a not-so-hot leader because he was kind to me at the beginning. And I dance with leaders who have such different styles that they can’t stand each other – but I enjoy dancing with them to different kinds of music, for different reasons. They each have great technique, even if they have different ways of dancing.

I hate drama. I get frustrated with some of the small-town-esque gossiping and infighting that happens. And I certainly can’t spend my time at the milonga worrying about what one leader will think if I accept a dance with another leader. I know that it’s hard if you are watching a follower you don’t know dance with a leader you don’t respect, but if she looks like a reasonable dancer why not give her a chance? You’d be dancing with her, not the other leader. If a leader rejects me because of anything aside from my dancing, my personality, our connection … well, that’s his loss.


One thought on “Leader’s Choice

  1. Good points, and as you will note, I’ve pulled my post out of embarrassment. It was snap judgement by someone who believes himself to be free of judgement. Something I need to work on. Thanks for your viewpoint.

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