Yesterday I wrote about my Very Comfortable Leader. Today is devoted to my Very Uncomfortable Leader. My lower back hurts.
We walk up to each other, embrace, and shift weight a few times. I am impressed that he doesn’t rush into motion. But then he clutches my back as if afraid that I will try to escape. He lifts. Why does he lift? Not to suspend me, because look, now we are walking. I am forced into almost-tiptoe walking to stay as lifted up as he seems to want me. I still feel incredible pressure from his right arm on my upper back. A step backwards, and suddenly I am pulled off my axis. Again. And again. I take a deep breath, and as I let it out I feel the pressure from his embrace relax ever so slightly. I am struggling to be comfortable while trying to stay relaxed in hopes that my relaxation will transfer to him. I am focusing all my energy on his steps, his body, and almost none on the music – how could I? It isn’t as thought his steps have any relation to the music, and if I stop paying attention a surprise volcada could injure me. Finally, thankfully, the song ends. I give him another chance, but I do not finish the tanda.
I quickly escape to a seat between two leaders who I trust. One comments that he saw all of the jerking around, being off-balance. I realize that I spent the whole time eyes open, with a look of intense concentration. Never a smile. Thankfully, the rest of the night I was cared for, listened to, and enjoyed many smiles and moments of musical, dancing pleasure. (It was my lesson to be wary of accepting dances with leaders I don’t know and who I haven’t watched on the floor.)