Self-control (or lack thereof)

I have no self-control. I devour chocolate, I eat entire loaves of bread, I indulge in books instead of housework … and I dance. All the time. If someone puts the idea of dancing in my head, I am bound to go. And try as I might, I almost never leave before the last tanda. Once I am on the floor enjoying myself, the only thing that can get me to leave early is carpooling with someone who insists on leaving early. (I have even convinced people to stay until the end by leading them on with “just one more” and “but this music …” repeatedly. Not to be mean, just because I felt it.)

Perhaps this is a newbie thing. How long will I feel like a baby in the tango scene? A year into it, and I still feel giddy when the energy is right. I am becoming more discerning, though – saving certain music for certain leaders, consciously avoiding the uncomfortable leaders, sitting down just enough to not kill my feet. But I still lack the self-control to say no to dancing for the fourth night in a row (fifth if you count the private I took at the beginning of the week!). I still can’t leave early. Start dancing at the end of a dinner party and I’m a goner; I won’t get home in time to get anything done! And I still get gleeful hugs from friends telling me that they are so happy that I am part of the community.

Someday I am sure I will learn self-control … maybe around the time when I learn some self-control with everything else in my life. 😉 In any case, I imagine that at some point I will be calmer, more measured. I won’t go dancing at the drop of a hat; I will leave early when it’s the responsible thing to do; I won’t flutter with anticipation before each evening out/each tanda/each song. These things happen, so they say – they come with improved technique and needing more out of your partner to reach tango highs. I look forward to being more mature in my tango journey, but I will enjoy the butterflies of being a newbie for as long as I can.


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